Vale Mick.

My last post was about absent friends. And three days later another old friend, Mick, joined them.

His lovely wife very kindly sent me a message letting me know he had passed peacefully in his sleep following a battle with cancer.

I first met Mick around 25 years ago. I became a member of the ASV (Astronomical Society of Victoria) through another friend, and started spending weekends out at the dark sky site. One evening, I met Mick. It was a quiet night with only a few of us out there. Mick introduced himself, showed me something through his scope, and offered me a drink. We spent the night observing, chatting and laughing. We got on well - music, humour and the stars, and we became firm friends quickly.

Many evenings were spent stargazing with Mick. We even hung out sometimes away from the dark sky field. Mick built my first telescope for me - a beautiful device nicknamed Woodstock - which I loved and used a lot. 

Sometimes we were the only two on the field, and those evenings were special. We would play some music while we observed, usually acoustic albums, (I introduced him to Neil Young) and just talk about our lives. We often spoke about our inner feelings and emotions, things we never spoke about to others.

Over the years I started drifting away from the ASV for a number of reasons, and Mick and I saw each other less frequently. Mick didn't do social media at all, and so when I moved here to the UK we lost touch, apart from a few second hand messages sent to me via his wife.

Mick means a lot to me. I cannot think of one instance where we argued or had a disagreement. Ever. I only remember talking, laughing and stargazing. Especially the laughing - we did that a lot.

I send much to love to Ree and their sons.

You will be missed Mick, as you walk beyond the stars.

Absent Friends.

A couple of years ago, in quite a short time, I lost three good friends to various illnesses and diseases.  Although I knew they were all seriously ill, only one of them was expected.  But even that was sooner than we had all thought.

My other two friends had given me reason to believe they were improving, and that everything was going to be fine. It turns out one was mistaken, the other was simply keeping it all to himself.

I miss them. I think of them often, and wish that they were around so we could hang out and chat.

Since their passing, I have dreamed of each of them. And each of these dreams was meaningful and personal.  They indicated things to me that were deeper than a normal dream. There are some who would suggest these might even be messages from beyond - at least in two of those dreams.

Recently there have been some situations in my life which one of my friends would have loved. These events were right up his alley, so to speak. And I know he would have been overjoyed to discuss them at length. And I wish he were around for us to do that.

My best friend is back in Australia, and I wish I could spend time talking to her - just like we used to on oh so many occasions.  Cos these events are also something she would be deeply interested in.

Hopefully she'll come to the UK to visit again soon. Til then, I'll just have to reflect and ponder.

And raise a glass to absent friends.

Connections and Re-connections.

I recently reconnected with a community with whom I had lost touch. Good people all, with shared interests and similar values. But for a number of reasons, I was no longer in contact.

Last month, I decided I needed to reconnect, and so I reached out to a couple of them. Boy, am I glad that I did!  It has been fantastic, and I have truly realised how much I value their friendship, and all that comes along with that. These are dark times, as we all know, but their mentoring, encouragement and support has really lifted my mood.

I have another, smaller community. A bunch of guys with whom I catch up weekly.  We have a chat, tell tall tales, poke fun at each other, and generally laugh a great deal - all over a couple of pints.

These connections are important. I spend a lot of time working from home, faceless behind a computer screen.  I mostly communicate with others through email and messaging, and so I live a lot inside my own head. I need to be social with others, I need to talk and to learn and to laugh. And to share.

I am grateful for these people, these wonderful people who provide me the opportunities to do so. The calm my mind, bring me inner peace.  And I hope in some small way I contribute to their wellbeing.

In Denial. Again.

Quite a few years ago, I was reading in bed - as I always did, and still do - before sleep. I realised I was holding my book at arm's length, just outside the illumination of the bedside lamp. So I asked my wife if I could borrow her reading glasses for a moment. And suddenly, pardon the pun, all became clear.

That was the moment I realised I needed reading glasses.

But a few things started to make sense. For example, we used to have after-work drinks on a Friday afternoon. The beers had a quiz question inside the cap, and I had noticed that recently I'd had some trouble reading this small print. Coincidentally, the office had recently removed every second light bulb in that area as a cost-saving measure, and so I had attributed it to poor lighting. I think I may have even said to my wife that I needed to replace the bulb in my lamp at home, as the one I had wasn't too bright.

It appears now, that maybe it was me that wasn't too bright.

As Agent Cooper was once warned,  it's happening again.

I needed to get new reading glasses, and so I booked in for a test as it had been a few years since my last one. I've always said that my long range vision is excellent - and even my opticians had told me that.  But this new test, which I had a couple of days ago, suggested that it too was starting to deteriorate, and they recommended long-range glasses for night driving and so on.

I guess that would explain why the stars at night seem to be doubled sometimes. That one I didn't have an explanation or excuse for, but I just kind of ignored that.

Oh well, at least my hearing is still excellent.

Yothu Yindi

Today is Australia Day.

This is not like Independence Day in the US.  We don't walk around wishing each other "Happy Australia Day", we don't do anything particularly Australian, we don't do much except enjoy a day off work. Or at least that's how it was with my family, friends and me. And generally how it was when I was growing up - maybe it's a bit more than that nowadays.

Living in the UK I feel it a little bit more, and I take time to think about Australia, an integral part of my formative years, and who I am. But again, it's not something I usually post about.

I also don't make a fuss about it because it's a day that causes some pain to Indigenous Australians. Not only the date (which is a big part of it) but the concept. I believe the date needs to be changed, and the day needs to be redefined to be more inclusive and pay particular attention to a long, long Aboriginal history.

Like others this morning, I tried to share Yothu Yindi's 'Treaty' on Facebook.  Like others I was stunned to find that it is banned as it apparently goes against Facebooks "community standards".

Dear me.

However, I see no reason why I can't post it here, and then link to it.

Please enjoy and share the link to this post.

Sorry / Not Sorry

I've recently had a couple of instances where the customer service has been less than satisfactory. One in particular really stood out, and I was extremely disppointed. I politely let them know that the service was less than exemplary, and instead of an apology, I received passive-aggressive comments before they apologised for me - on my behalf. The whole "Sorry you see it that way..." thing.

I suspect someone in management once shared the idea you can sound like you're apologising without actually being sorry, while placing the blame on the other person.  Probably learned it in a CPD session.

But that's OK. It was only an enquiry and they lost my potential custom.

On the other hand, I recently placed an order which messed up due to a glitch in the system. I gave them a phone call, a reasonably lasrge local company, and they were friendly, funny and helpful.  Oh, and they apologised.

See the difference? One took responsibility and sorted it out quickly.

None of us are perfect. Mistakes happen. I try to admit to them when I'm behind them, apologise, and move to quickly remedy the situation.  I don't always get it right, but sometimes all it takes is to be honest and open.

Speeding Up

Only two more days before work breaks up for the year. Christmas looms, and I have no idea where the time has gone.  I swear time is speeding up each year.

In fact, and I recognise the ironay in using those words, I recently read a theory that time is really speeding up – label it under paranormal, pseudoscience etc.  But if it were true, we’d have no real way of measuring that, would we?  Maybe there is some quantum method by which scientists could.

I’m really looking forward to this break.  It’s been a tough year for a few reasons, and this down time is something I need.  Looking around at my colleagues, I suspect it’s something we all need.  But I’m not convinced the breaks recharge and revitalise is in quite the same way they used to. Or maybe it’s just me as I get older.

I’ve been back in the UK for more than 8 years now, and I enjoy the Christmas atmosphere here, with nights drawing in and festive lights visible from around 4pm.  Christmas is a winter festival, and makes a lot more sense here than it does in Australia. It feels right here.  And I look forward to it.

But I do wish I could catch up with my family and friends in Australia. That’s not going to happen this year, but maybe next year?

But onwards to the gifts, the food, and the wine.  Oh, and the time spent with family. Apparently that’s important too.